At least make sure they are 18
Why
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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