I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
did i walk over a car last night?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
