i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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