god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
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You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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