Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
time to smoke my breakfast
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
