After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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