When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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