why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
