I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize