When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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