Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
