you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
