Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My vagina is officially offended.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
