omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
