we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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