you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She bit a glass in half.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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