I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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