im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
