Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
