i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
