I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
