You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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