I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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