im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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