I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
