I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
