I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
