He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
only you would photoshop your dick
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize