My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
