i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
