Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
