you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish you could order shots online.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
