First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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