my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
