grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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