Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
