Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
