He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
