6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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