Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
