Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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