She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
