why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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