we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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