john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize