I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
