I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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