Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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