She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
