Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
