I just threw up on my dentist
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
