He is an equal opportunity slut.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
