Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
