I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love you. Go after that dick
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
