i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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