I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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