This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Acid is not a monday night drug
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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