Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You dont lie about slip and slides
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
