my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
