worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
