Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
