There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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